FIRMLY SUPPORT CORRECT VALUATION OF PEOPLE.CN IPO
It’s not hard to get excited about People.com’s business prospects. Its website exemplifies everything that’s right and beautiful about American culture: Josh Hutcherson adopting a puppy, Reese Witherspoon’s “baby bump” and the headline “PHOTO: Heidi Klum Poses Nude” (no, we’re not linking that one). People.cn, on the other hand, is like napalm for the attention span – cruelly incinerating anything even remotely interesting it touches. Take Ministry of Foreign Affairs spokesperson Liu Weimin’s response to a US report claiming that China is stealing US space technology. Neither confirming nor denying the allegations, Liu simply grinned and shouted “magic fingers” at frightened reporters, then performed an odd gesture vaguely resembling “jazz hands.” It was 18-karat media gold – Liu has been on a roll since his critically acclaimed post-modern interpretive dance to Flock of Seagulls’ “I Ran” (in response to a question about Wang Lijun’s flight to a US consulate). Yet People’s Daily – soon to be a real boy listed company – smothers these gems into articles with headlines like “Wen Jiabao chairs State Council meeting.” Normally sane readers can snap after a few days of this, scrambling to find Jim Jones-branded Kool-Aid or some way to beam up to Hale-Bopp. Rest assured People.com will be on that faster than our male readers on the missing link above.
The joys and terrors of motherhood
In the 2010 movie Babies, documentarians follow four wee little homo sapiens from birth through their first year of life. Oh, the cute Mongolian baby, tethered up next to the chickens. And let’s not forget the American baby, who we’re never quite sure if it’s a boy or a girl. But the footage of one baby got left on the cutting room floor: The Hong Kong-born mainland baby. We’ve seen the directors cut, and we have to agree they made the right decision ridding the movie of it. It’s positively terrifying. In a classic horror opening, a woman crosses the HK border in the dead of night as the border guards doze. She makes her way to a hotel and induces birth, rushing to the nearest hospital in the SARs borders. The baby is born and all seems normal at first, except for the demonic eyes and the creepy music in the background. Soon enough though the evil baby puts its nefarious plan into action: Overcrowding area hospitals and making undeserved claims of residence!
There’s only one man to stop this invasion, and it’s Hong Kong Chief Executive-Elect Leung Chun-ying. Leung summed up the Hong Kong zeitgeist best, saying, “I’ve had it with these motherf***ing babies on our motherf***ing island!” And he’ll do it the only way he can: instituting a law. Ok, maybe it is not the most badass move, but it is potentially effective. And if that doesn’t work, he’ll just bribe the mothers-to-be to stay away with those blinging luxury handbags that they had their eye on but just hadn’t gotten out of the country to buy. Oh, the joys of motherhood.